I did not always have girlfriends to turn to easily. I grew up in South Carolina and lived there through college where I made several lifetime friends. I see them when I get back down there and it feels as if I never left.
But then I was offered a job in Chattanooga, TN and off I went to join corporate America in the days when the Data Processing world (later known as Information Technology), was full of men. There were a few women with whom I did get friendly, but most of the marketing people, technical leaders and customers were men.
Men who wanted to tell me that they were in the industry while I was still wearing diapers, who put the system software on the removable drive in the corner to protect it before they let me do work, who teased me mercilessly and taught me a lot. We went to lunch, we talked about our families, and we were friendly acquaintances, but I did not have much time to make new girlfriends.
The move to Michigan after I became engaged made it harder to keep up with the college friends and took me away from the new ones in Tennessee. I felt rather isolated, but I had work to keep me busy.
In fact, my life was soon so busy working full time, having two kids, running the household, that I did not know what I was missing. Until I decided to simplify life by asking to work part time. Fortunately, I had a sensitive female manager who went to bat for me and got the request approved. I had time to exercise and joined a tennis class at the local health club.
At first I was just thrilled to have time to exercise during the day instead of rushing to some aerobics class right after work and struggling to shake off the pressures of the day and follow the leader through the series of steps. My game started to improve and I started to realize that the ladies around me were wonderful, caring individuals who shared the challenges I faced - and had a lot of answers! They knew the ins and outs of helping my kids navigate the rough waters of the local school system, how to deal with the neighborhood association and where to find everything in town. We bonded on the court and off.
About the time my children finished high school, I decided to rejoin the local theatre community. I had been in the chorus of a few local musicals when I first moved to Michigan, but had dropped out after my son was born. Going back after all these years was terrifying, but as soon as I walked in, a lovely woman came over to welcome me back. I did not get in that show, but the next time, I got a part and joined the local theatre family.
After ten years working with multiple community theatres on over 25 shows, I have many good friends, both male and female. I especially cherish the group who goes to lunch at a different place every Thursday. We span a few decades in age, represent a variety of backgrounds and careers (although educators and librarians are well-represented), and share a love for the dramatic arts. We do whatever it takes for the theatres - act, sing, dance, make costumes, build and paint sets, change the scenes, design and run props, run the lights and sound, sell tickets, usher, answer telephones, serve on the Board of Directors, etc. You name it, these ladies have done it. With a smile. And they have taught me a lot.
These wonderful strong women - my tennis friends, my theatre friends, and my lifetime friends from college - embraced me and supported me through all the changes in recent years - divorce and involuntary retirement and all the adjustments that came with it. They listened when I needed a sympathetic ear, they hugged me when I need a boost, they enjoyed all the crazy on-line dating stories, they made me laugh and they celebrated with me when love found me.
That was in the form of my husband (since June 2nd, 2012)who brought with him a group of friends he had been hanging out with for over 30 years, self-named the 'Stoneheads,' after an old favorite restaurant, The Stonehouse. For one of our early dates, he brought me to their annual Holiday Progressive dinner, which stirred some interest among these folks to whom he had sworn he would never again get involved (in writing on a napkin which they later produced!) These wonderful people embraced me right away and have included me in future get togethers such as the girls' party today to discuss Women's Lib and what we have all experienced. Again, I am lucky to have these ladies to share with and from whom to learn about life.
Thank God for the girlfriends I have been blessed to know! I love you all!
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