How to put the question? Will he or won't he?

My inspiration for today's story was reading on Facebook about my friend's Veronica and Luke and how they got engaged yesterday. Luke spent a long time setting up the scene so he could surprise his fair lady and it worked!

Last year I went through a similar process once I decided that I was going to propose to my guy. We had been dating for over two years, and I had firmly stated that I saw no reason ever to get married again. My child raising days are over. Why couldn't we just be in a committed relationship without needing that legal stuff?

But then I realized that we were committed and planning to be together. We owned a boat together and two houses. Life might be simpler if we took the big step. And we are not getting any younger, right?

My man had said all along that he believed in marriage and had always wanted to stay married, but his ex-wives (yes, more than one) ended it. He told me he would like to marry, but he respected my opinion. He said if I ever wanted to get married, I had better ask him, because he was not going to ask me.

In fact, he used to stand on stage sometimes (he is a singer/guitarist for a living) and tell the audience that his girlfriend would not marry him. People would glare at me, especially his biggest fans. I spent a lot of time explaining that I was his girlfriend, not his wife.

So, after I took some time to get used to the idea myself, I began to plan how I would pop the quesfion. Would I call it out from the audience while he was between songs? Ask him in front of our closest group of friends? He is famous, so I thought that he might like the attention.

Every week, when he finishes at a local bar, his sons take over and sing until closing. They often played a special song for us and we would take the dance floor for that one tune. Should I just wait until it was over, and ask him in front of them?

I started seeing videos on Facebook of guys asking their ladies to marry them in public settings. (One was a guy who sang on a cruise I was on where his girlfriend sat and watched him, just like I do. He asked her by walking to her seat in a crowded show and singing to her.)

Finally, I decided that I would ask him on Valentine's Day and do it at home. We had written haikus to each other a lot when we first started dating. So I spent time working out these special poems to do the trick. I bought 4 Valentine's Day cards, put the baikus inside each one and gave him the first one in the morning.

 Then, at lunch time, I gave him another.

The Valentine's cards were romantic, too. I was sure he would suspect that something was up, but he did not seem too. So mid afternoon, we sat down at the table, I opened my cards, and I slipped him two more, making sure he opened the right one first.

He thought it was sweet. Then he opened the last card. I waited a second and slipped to one knee on the floor as he read:

His reaction was not anything I would ever have suspected. His face turned red, his eyes got very large and he seemed to stop breathing. I waited a minute or so, before I spoke. "Hey, you have to answer me, "I said. "I know it is a surprise, but I need an answer."

He choked out, "Yes," and I gave him a quick hug. Then he sat there in stunned silence. I had left him speechless! Not easy for such an outgoing guy.

He had a gig that night in Ann Arbor, and I invited myself along. We got very lucky. Stopped at a nice restaurant on the way into town for a quick meal, and there just happened to be one free table. Serendipity.

All through the show that night, he looked like a deer in headlights. We weren't going to tell anyone until we had time to talk it over, so I was sure someone was going to ask if he was ill, but he just kept singing. And no one was the wiser.

On the way home at 2 a.m., he was going to stop for coffee because he was sleepy. I talked him into letting me drive, which he seldom does, but I was dancing on air, and wide-awake. As soon as we set off, he was out like a light. Poor baby.

We really did not have time to talk about things again until four days later. Then he turned the table on me, by suggesting we get married in less than 4 months and picked up the phone to call the family. Now I was the one in shock!

When we were planning the wedding decorations, I decided to use the haikus that we have written to each other, all of which I have captured in a notebook. These pictures are the ones we used at the wedding, so they have dates on them. We displayed them all over the house where we had the wedding.