Youth may be wasted on the young ... but they are willing to share!

Back when I first was divorced and I hung out with the young, mostly single crowd from my local community theatre, I noticed how much younger I felt. We met working on shows, and often went out socially after rehearsal or performances. When one group decided to frequent an establishment that offered karaoke every week, I joined in. I didn't sing all that often - these young people have trained voices AND know every song out there. But I enjoyed their company and they made me feel welcome.

After I started seeing the guy who is now my husband, I gradually stopped going to karaoke, as he performed early and close to home on the same night, and I usually went to see the end of his show. We  got in the habit of stopping in at another bar for half-off wine after his gig.

My guy stays young because he sings in college bars a lot, full of students and recent graduates who want to talk and share refreshments and stories on breaks and after the show. He truly enjoys getting to know them, and constantly amazes me by remembering names, faces and details they have related about their lives. He became so popular with the rugby team at the university here in town last year that we had a barbecue for them in his backyard the week before our wedding, and they invited him to play in their alumni game last fall. They invite us to their Holiday dinners and we happily join in. No one seems to notice that we are older than their parents. (Maybe they are just being polite!)

I was reminded how much I miss the energy and enthusiasm and lack of inhibition of the young when I went to auditions for The 10 Minute Play Festival at our community college last week. The event is the culmination of a class for directors taught by a woman whom I have been lucky enough to work with at the community theatre for which I am serving on the Board of Directors. She is known for the quality of her productions and I am hoping to work with her again in a show there someday. She has 14 students each directing a short play of their choice. Some parts were pre-cast, and there is one big audition for the remaining ones.

This wonderful lady created a Facebook event for the auditions, and I signed up as did several people of various ages whom I know from past shows. Little did I know however how few of them would actually show up. When I checked in and looked around, I realized that I was one of maybe 3 or 4 actors over 30 in the room. The room was teeming with 18 - 22 year olds who knew each other and greeted one another boisterously and loudly for the most part. It felt like a club and I was a little sad not to belong.

We were divided into two groups, each to audition for a set of 3 or 4 directors, in two different rooms. I was in the group that stayed in the black box theatre and I knew no one there. For the first hour, I watched these young adults read short scenes from each play. We had a one sentence summary of each show, and a few words about the characters.

You would not believe how creative and energetic the interpretations were and how much fun they had. Even though I only was asked to read once in the first session, I was enthralled by the process. Everyone seemed totally committed to getting a part in each play, even though the instructor explained you could only do two parts, at most. They celebrated and teased each other when someone did something particularly clever or even when we stuttered over the unfamiliar lines.

The second session was even more fun as I got to read with more people and for more parts. They made fun of me, playfully, because I kept missing my number when it was called. Sometimes this happened because I assumed I was not going to read for a character who was very young or listed as male. Besides that, at our theatre we use numbers to keep auditioners straight, but we usually call them up by name. I kept having to look down to remind myself what number I was. After I hesitated the second time, they started teasing that I did not want to be number 21, to which I replied, "It has been a long time since I was 21!" and everyone laughed.

The second night, we had seven more directors with seven more plays and I was assigned to the dance studio. Again, the energy levels were high,and there was a lot of laughter, despite the serious nature of many of the shows. Everyone read for many parts, and I began to realize what a monumental task it was going to be to cast the shows without conflicts over the best actors. I did not envy them those discussions at all.

My philosophy on auditions is to have fun at the time and to try not to worry about the outcome. I was resigned that I might not get a part. The student directors could cast each show several ways and unless the people who 'matched' me in a scene were also still available, I was out.

So, it was a very nice surprise to get a call that I had been cast in "Dog Lovers" by S. W. Senek as "Missy, a fitness instructor who loves her dog." The sheet says she is in her 20's, but casting is often flexible. I feel very lucky. Working with these young folks will help me stay young and active both mentally and physically, and I hope I can share something from my life experiences with them.

I can't wait to start. I will let you know how it turns out.

Men are okay, but God bless my girlfriends!

Thank heavens for girlfriends. They keep me sane, give me perspective, make me laugh, make me cry, inspire me, encourage me and support me.

I did not always have girlfriends to turn to easily. I grew up in South Carolina and lived there through college where I made several lifetime friends. I see them when I get back down there and it feels as if I never left.

But then I was offered a job in Chattanooga, TN and off I went to join corporate America in the days when the Data Processing world (later known as Information Technology), was full of men. There were a few women with whom I did get friendly, but most of the marketing people, technical leaders and customers were men.

Men who wanted to tell me that they were in the industry while I was still wearing diapers, who put the system software on the removable drive in the corner to protect it before they let me do work, who teased me mercilessly and taught me a lot. We went to lunch, we talked about our families, and we were friendly acquaintances, but I did not have much time to make new girlfriends.

The move to Michigan after I became engaged made it harder to keep up with the college friends and took me away from the new ones in Tennessee. I felt rather isolated, but I had work to keep me busy.

In fact, my life was soon so busy working full time, having two kids, running the household, that I did not know what I was missing. Until I decided to simplify life by asking to work part time. Fortunately, I had a sensitive female manager who went to bat for me and got the request approved. I had time to exercise and joined a tennis class at the local health club.

At first I was just thrilled to have time to exercise during the day instead of  rushing to some aerobics class right after work and struggling to shake off the pressures of the day and follow the leader through the series of steps. My game started to improve and I started to realize that the ladies around me were wonderful, caring individuals who shared the challenges I faced - and had a lot of answers! They knew the ins and outs of helping my kids navigate the rough waters of the local school system, how to deal with the neighborhood association and where to find everything in town. We bonded on the court and off.

About the time my children finished high school, I decided to rejoin the local theatre community. I had been in the chorus of a few local musicals when I first moved to Michigan, but had dropped out after my son was born. Going back after all these years was terrifying, but as soon as I walked in, a lovely woman came over to welcome me back. I did not get in that show, but the next time, I got a part and joined the local theatre family.

After ten years working with multiple community theatres on over 25 shows, I have many good friends, both male and female. I especially cherish the group who goes to lunch at a different place every Thursday. We span a few decades in age, represent a variety of backgrounds and careers (although educators and librarians are well-represented), and share a love for the dramatic arts. We do whatever it takes for the theatres - act, sing, dance, make costumes, build and paint sets, change the scenes, design and run props, run the lights and sound, sell tickets, usher, answer telephones, serve on the Board of Directors, etc. You name it, these ladies have done it. With a smile. And they have taught me a lot.

These wonderful strong women - my tennis friends, my theatre friends, and my lifetime friends from college - embraced me and supported me through all the changes in recent years - divorce and involuntary retirement and all the adjustments that came with it. They listened when I needed a sympathetic ear, they hugged me when I need a boost, they enjoyed all the crazy on-line dating stories, they made me laugh and they celebrated with me when love found me. 

That was in the form of my husband (since June 2nd, 2012)who brought with him a group of friends he had been hanging out with for over 30 years, self-named the 'Stoneheads,' after an old favorite restaurant, The Stonehouse. For one of our early dates, he brought me to their annual Holiday Progressive dinner, which stirred some interest among these folks to whom he had sworn he would never again get involved (in writing on a napkin which they later produced!) These wonderful people embraced me right away and have included me in future get togethers such as the girls' party today to discuss Women's Lib and what we have all experienced. Again, I am lucky to have these ladies to share with and from whom to learn about life.

Thank God for the girlfriends I have been blessed to know! I love you all!

My prince did come ... finally

 

So here I am, married to a professional musician. We met long ago when we were both performing in a community theatre show - a musical called "The Pajama Game." He was the time study man and I was one of the factory girls who were "Racing with the Clock". We had a few scenes together and someone posted some old snapshots on Facebook recently.

Isn't he cute? I am the one with my hand on my hip. It was a fun time, but we were just acquaintances. I did not see him again for over 20 years. I heard he started singing for a living, and then later that he had a band with his teenage sons. I saw posters that they would be at a local bar, but my family would have dinner there at 6 p.m. and they would play at 10 p.m.

Now we talk about all the places that we both were over the years, maybe even at the same time, like Charlevoix in the summer. But we never crossed paths until I saw him performing on Mackinaw Island 6 or 7 years ago. I was still married to my ex and we stopped in to listen to a few songs. During his break, I asked him if he remembered me, and he said he did. We talked for a minute then said goodbye.

A few years later, I was divorced, and I saw his picture on match.com. I sent a message that said, "Hey, I know you!" He answered me and suggested getting together. Now I had met some really interesting people on-line and that is putting it mildly, so I invited him to join me and a group of  theatre friends for lunch at Dublin Square. It was a beautiful spring day and we were eating outside.

He arrived, I introduced him to everyone and we all chatted over our lunch and his beer. Then he said he needed to take a nap before his show that night, and left. Never heard from him. I guessed he was not impressed.

About a year and half later, I went to a funeral for a gentleman who was in "The Pajama Game." He had been very involved in local theatre and lots of people were there including you-know-who. We nodded across the room and I left.

Then in November, I am back on match.com (Try, try again!) and I see the profile for this guy. No way am I contacting him twice, so I moved on. He sees that I looked at his profile and sends me an email asking if I want to go to a play together some Sunday afternoon.

Again, I am cool. I tell him I am going to see a show at the Civic Players the next day. He can meet me there if he wants to.

He does. We watch the show. We go out for a meal. A few days later, we have a coffee date, talking for about four hours before I go home to get ready to see another play which he joins me to attend. We get together as much as we can, but he works a lot and he is busy for Thanksgiving. And I am leaving for a two week vacation right after the Holiday - a 10 day cruise by myself and my niece's wedding in Florida. Before I leave, he asks me to a party a week after I get back.

When I board the ship, I get a card telling me that he has sent me a bottle of wine. I call and thank him, only to learn after the ship sails that he also sent me a dozen roses. Now I see them every time I enter the cabin and he is definitely on my mind.

Obviously, he did all the right things, once he came back into my life, and we are now newlyweds. It took him a while to admit what happened after that lunch at Dublin Square when I thought he was not interested.

Turns out he was totally attracted, but having just divorced himself, he had sworn never to get involved again. So he went home, deleted my number from his phone, my email from his computer and vowed not to contact me.

Until he saw me at the funeral of our dear old friend. Thanks for the boost, Meryl.

How to put the question? Will he or won't he?

My inspiration for today's story was reading on Facebook about my friend's Veronica and Luke and how they got engaged yesterday. Luke spent a long time setting up the scene so he could surprise his fair lady and it worked!

Last year I went through a similar process once I decided that I was going to propose to my guy. We had been dating for over two years, and I had firmly stated that I saw no reason ever to get married again. My child raising days are over. Why couldn't we just be in a committed relationship without needing that legal stuff?

But then I realized that we were committed and planning to be together. We owned a boat together and two houses. Life might be simpler if we took the big step. And we are not getting any younger, right?

My man had said all along that he believed in marriage and had always wanted to stay married, but his ex-wives (yes, more than one) ended it. He told me he would like to marry, but he respected my opinion. He said if I ever wanted to get married, I had better ask him, because he was not going to ask me.

In fact, he used to stand on stage sometimes (he is a singer/guitarist for a living) and tell the audience that his girlfriend would not marry him. People would glare at me, especially his biggest fans. I spent a lot of time explaining that I was his girlfriend, not his wife.

So, after I took some time to get used to the idea myself, I began to plan how I would pop the quesfion. Would I call it out from the audience while he was between songs? Ask him in front of our closest group of friends? He is famous, so I thought that he might like the attention.

Every week, when he finishes at a local bar, his sons take over and sing until closing. They often played a special song for us and we would take the dance floor for that one tune. Should I just wait until it was over, and ask him in front of them?

I started seeing videos on Facebook of guys asking their ladies to marry them in public settings. (One was a guy who sang on a cruise I was on where his girlfriend sat and watched him, just like I do. He asked her by walking to her seat in a crowded show and singing to her.)

Finally, I decided that I would ask him on Valentine's Day and do it at home. We had written haikus to each other a lot when we first started dating. So I spent time working out these special poems to do the trick. I bought 4 Valentine's Day cards, put the baikus inside each one and gave him the first one in the morning.

 Then, at lunch time, I gave him another.

The Valentine's cards were romantic, too. I was sure he would suspect that something was up, but he did not seem too. So mid afternoon, we sat down at the table, I opened my cards, and I slipped him two more, making sure he opened the right one first.

He thought it was sweet. Then he opened the last card. I waited a second and slipped to one knee on the floor as he read:

His reaction was not anything I would ever have suspected. His face turned red, his eyes got very large and he seemed to stop breathing. I waited a minute or so, before I spoke. "Hey, you have to answer me, "I said. "I know it is a surprise, but I need an answer."

He choked out, "Yes," and I gave him a quick hug. Then he sat there in stunned silence. I had left him speechless! Not easy for such an outgoing guy.

He had a gig that night in Ann Arbor, and I invited myself along. We got very lucky. Stopped at a nice restaurant on the way into town for a quick meal, and there just happened to be one free table. Serendipity.

All through the show that night, he looked like a deer in headlights. We weren't going to tell anyone until we had time to talk it over, so I was sure someone was going to ask if he was ill, but he just kept singing. And no one was the wiser.

On the way home at 2 a.m., he was going to stop for coffee because he was sleepy. I talked him into letting me drive, which he seldom does, but I was dancing on air, and wide-awake. As soon as we set off, he was out like a light. Poor baby.

We really did not have time to talk about things again until four days later. Then he turned the table on me, by suggesting we get married in less than 4 months and picked up the phone to call the family. Now I was the one in shock!

When we were planning the wedding decorations, I decided to use the haikus that we have written to each other, all of which I have captured in a notebook. These pictures are the ones we used at the wedding, so they have dates on them. We displayed them all over the house where we had the wedding.